You’ve received your transplant and one of the biggest things you can do now is give yourself a break.  Right now you feel like you can take on the world.  You certainly have a new lease on life but what I’m talking about goes deeper than just the physical aspect of things.

Give Yourself a Break Physically

Let’s face it.  Immediately following your transplant you probably felt like you couldn’t take on walking to the chair from your bed, much less take on the world.  However, each day is a little better than the last and before you know it, you feel pretty dang good.

You are discharged from the hospital and head home.  You’re not going to run out and sign up for a triathlon or anything, but you can move around well and, aside from surgical pain and physical restrictions, you can tackle most of your daily tasks.

Here’s the thing, though.  Your body is still recuperating from a massive surgery.  Even though you suddenly have more energy than you did before surgery, doing things that require sustained energy may not yet be possible.  So, give yourself the latitude to rest.

I know I’m not alone when I say that I got home and, even a month down the road, I thought I was all good.  I spent a day out and about shopping and running errands and felt fine.  The next day?  Oh boy.  I was wiped out.  Like, I can barely get out of bed and move around the house kind of wiped out.  Even though this isn’t true for everyone, it still applies to some degree.  Doing too much too soon can really take a toll.  Don’t beat yourself up.  Take breaks throughout your day to rest.  Your body will thank you.

Setbacks Happen

It’s very easy to fall into the thinking that you’ve received your transplant and now you’re “fixed.”  The thing about transplant is that you are trading one thing for the other.  Living with a chronic disease to living with a transplant.

Whether you are two days or 20 years out from your transplant, you will experience setbacks.  Common illnesses last longer.  You are more susceptible to infection.  You may have fatigue.  Most will experience some form of rejection.

There are also ongoing appointments, immunosuppressants, dietary changes, and helping others’ understand about the new you.

All of these things are a normal part of living with a transplant.  You’ve been given a second chance at life, but nothing is perfect.  There will be hurdles to jump and setbacks to overcome.  That’s ok.  Give yourself a break.  Sometimes you might need a little more rest, or some clear perspective.

Give Yourself a Break Emotionally

Right after your transplant, there is a whirlwind of emotions.  Perhaps you are feeling some post-transplant guilt.  You have overwhelming gratitude for your gift.  You are afraid of what life will be like now.  There are resources available to you (Transplant Living has support groups available by state, for instance) and you should absolutely use them.  And while you’re at it, give yourself a break.  Transplant doesn’t just change you physically, it changes you emotionally, and mentally as well.

Even years after your transplant, you may still encounter emotional challenges.  I find myself thinking about things I can no longer do that I once could.  Some may have issues with family or friends not understanding that transplant isn’t a “fix” it’s a change.  Others may encounter depression, anxiety, or trauma related to what they experienced before their transplant.

The Comparison Game

Just like most people, transplant recipients compare themselves to others.  “Why can John work 40 hours a week and I can’t keep up with 20?”  “How is Sally able to run and bike and I have a hard time walking for an hour?”

This is a dangerous rabbit hole to go down and you are not Alice, so don’t do it.  Well, maybe you are Alice, but not that Alice.  Everyone has a unique story and so comparing yourself to someone else isn’t fair to you or them.

Me vs. Them

I was critically and terminally ill when I received my diagnosis.  After my transplant, I felt a bazillion times better (outside of the surgical pain).  However, because I was so sick pre-transplant, I face other challenges now that I never did before.  Fatigue is no joke for me and I usually don’t feel too hot on a lot of days.  I don’t tell you that for a pity party (although, if you want to throw me a regular party, you can count me in!).  I only share this as an example because every journey is unique.

For someone who had liver cancer or a biliary disease, their MELD was probably lower when they received their transplant.  That doesn’t mean that their journey is any less valid.  They too needed a transplant.  Their journey is just different than mine.  Where I felt much better after my transplant, their pre-transplant symptoms may have been less severe leaving them to feel much worse immediately following their transplant.  But perhaps it may be more feasible for them to return to a life similar to what they had before the transplant.

My point is, everyone is different and we all deserve a break.  Our journeys before and after transplant, how we cope with the challenges we face, and even how our relationships change.

Give Yourself a Break Every Day

You have changed.  One day you may watch a movie or TV show that catches you off-guard and reminds you of something you experienced in your journey and you get emotional.  Not that this has ever happened to me.  At all.  Ever.  Give yourself a break, it’s normal to experience emotions related to something this big.

You may wake up one morning and find yourself overwhelmed with anxiety of life after transplant and all of the diseases, infections, medications, and appointments.  Give yourself a break, this too is normal.

Your loved one may get upset with you because you can’t keep up with the things you used to.  Give yourself (and them) a break.

Maybe you attend a family gathering and suddenly feel yourself overcome with gratitude and emotion.  You are alive and able to spend time with your family enjoying the lively conversation at the Thanksgiving table.  Give yourself a break and bask in it a little.

We All Need a Break Sometimes

We have been given an incredible opportunity to live our lives again, and we are not the only ones who were a part of this journey.  Our caregivers, family, friends, and coworkers have all gone through varying degrees of worry, mourning, or trauma from diagnosis to transplant.

Now, they need to adjust to the new you.  Cut them a little slack too.  They were by your side through it all and are still around, so that counts for a whole lot.

It’s much easier to find balance and live a happier life when you give yourself a break from time to time.  And isn’t living a happier life what this second chance is all about?